Friday, January 22, 2016

The Feels

Road Trip
Looking back is a mixed bag, isn't it? {photo from our
epic road trip in late June}

Our winds have shifted.

It's a new year: gloriously even 2016.
We've moved into a new home: one that is big and requires very little work.
We've left the city behind: suburbia, thank you for the lovely welcome.
This ol' body is cooking up a new life {yet again}: baby #4, due in March.

These are Holy Crap sort of changes, right?

Indeed.

Sometimes it feels as though all that defined our little family unit 
has morphed into something else.

And yet, if I put everything down on paper, 
it doesn't look so grandiose. 

Besides the big-ticket items 
{hello, home purchase and in utero addition}, 
a lot of the changes have been little.

Subtleties only we would notice. 

What feels life-altering to one person is a footnote to another.
Isn't that often the way of things? 

It can make one feel invisible.

Or, one could find comfort in the knowledge that
all the dramas and trivialities 
are simply blips on a larger-scheme map. 

Like toddlers playing side-by-side, 
we're together but we're not always aware of what the other is up to.

Each and every one of us is experiencing 
the glorious ups and heart-breaking downs of life. 
And we're doing it collectively. 
Sort of.

It's not that the people in our lives don't care. 

That's not it at all.

Sometimes, the details we pass along are unclear. 
Sometimes, there isn't time for a good face-to-face chat.
Sometimes, your people have  their own priorities to sort out.
No offense.

Then, suddenly, the stars align,
and a chance to catch up presents itself.

And all of your Big Changes pour out
 in a clumsy monologue over the phone 
while you're waiting in the drop-off line at school. 
Or you're scurrying around the kitchen 
trying to scratch up something for dinner.

We get pretty good at boilerplate updates - 
a down and dirty synopsis of all that's happened of late.

Which is just fine, because living is super busy work,
 and expecting another person to get mired
in the details is a lot to ask.

But doesn't it feel really good
to share your heart from time to time?
To sit down and get all those unadulterated feels out there.
To hear what your confidant has to say.

I think, as a parent in the trenches of raising so many Littles, 
those authentic, sharing moments are much harder to come by.

On most days, a phone call
or text exchange is all I can muster.

But that doesn't mean the urge to connect and share isn't there. 
It's just buried under other, more pressing
{and sometimes mundane} things, 
like meetings and swimming lessons and Costco runs. ;)

But I'll take what I can get, and today, this post has helped.

It's given me the perspective to see 
that what I thought would be a detailed, purge-style post 
about all that transpired over the preceding months
is water under the proverbial bridge. 

Best to separate the chaff from the wheat.

So, here's my synopsis, brief but heartfelt:

~ The reno, listing, burglary, and move of last spring were all pretty terrible,
 and I wish to unremember them altogether.

~ We left all that crap behind by taking an epic road trip with our kiddos. 
Over three-thousand miles logged in eleven days! 
It was fantastic,
and I came home pregnant.


Vail
The view from the top of Vail Mountain.

~ We crashed at my parents' place over the summer, 
and they graciously let us take over their home 
as we house-hunted and decompressed.

Peaceful yard
Summer at the 'rents house.

~ Much of the summer and early fall is a blur of fatigue and nausea, 
but somehow we managed to celebrate a milestone anniversary
and buy a wonderful home in a beautiful area!

Anniversary
A night in downtown Portland, OR, then off to the coast. 

Winter Hike
Hiking near our new house.

~ We spent our first-ever Christmas at home. 
No travel, no overnights - nada.
It was magical, and we can't wait to do it again.

~ I'm now well into the third trimester with
our fourth Little - a boy!
He's highly anticipated, 
undoubtedly a rock star baby, 
and likely to make a rush appearance 
in the first couple weeks of March.

Six Pumpkins
Our social media announcement for the baby.

And now you're caught up. 
Thanks for the chat and the feels. :)

Frozen Heart








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